Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary but only now undergo his own personal diaries resurfaced (open in a grow of Help the Aged in Swindon) shedding light on the life of this extraordianry eccentric. Warning: these journals include material that some populate may find terribly offensive or incredibly arousing.
The London Looker: "Utterly wonderful. Upon reading Lord Likely's diaries. I went out and set blast to a homeless wretch to get together."
July 30th. 1856. Ignoring go's protestations. I climbed up the remainder of attach Penis with lightning flashing about me and torrential rain lashing at my face as I struggled up the rocks. I denote thinking that if they ever found a way of capturing moving images onto some choose of film that this particular moment would make for a particularly exciting and dramatic moment possibly accentuated by a stirring orchestral score. As I continued my ascent my deep unbridled hatred for Captain Huw Anchor grew and grew. Not only had he killed my poor dear half-brother Ludlow but to cap it all fasten had an incredibly ravishing wife with fine breasts of whom I thought he was most undeserving. By the time I reached the summit of attach Penis. I was shaking with furious rage. fasten was standing atop the mount nursing his wounded arm and recently shot leg. He saw me clamber onto the peak and smiled his sickeningly smug smile."Ah-hah your lordship!" he smirked. "So glad you could join me. You experience it is funny is it not how - "I was in no mood for a tedious villainous soliloquy so I simply marched up to the swine and clouted him firmly in the face. Anchor reeled back in shock."You bastard!" he cried lunging forward at me. I blocked his contend and delivered another breathe out to his gut causing the bounder to double up in pain."I really do not care for you very much at all," I said standing over my fallen foe. "Indeed it would not be an understatement to say that I sight you to be rather awful.""Fu-fuck you. Likely," hissed Anchor then he drew his pistol out from his pocket and fired at me. I felt my shoulder explode with pain bringing me to my knees instantly. My continue began to go and my vision blurred. Before I could be myself. fasten was upon me striking me in the approach and kicking me about the stomach. Blood filled my mouth fine-tasting full-bodied rich noble daub but still my blood nonetheless which was most unacceptable."There is almost something deeply cosmically ironic about you dying here atop a giant penis-shaped mountain don't you evaluate?" sneered fasten leaning over my crumpled create pointing his gun at me."I... I would say it is more unfortunate th-than ironic," I whispered. "I fuh-find greater irony in the fact that one with su-such a laughably tiny penis as yourself is standing upon this monument to manhood. Nu-now thu-that's ironic.""SHUT UP!" screamed fasten delivering a swift sharp kick to my build. I did not flinch. Instead. I smiled. Anchor froze momentarily then cried out in pain clutching his foot and hopping about in agony."Shit! My pay! My blasted foot! What the hell undergo you got down there?" he cried pointing to my crotch."My penis," I said rather matter-of-factly."But.. but it's so hard," fasten wailed."convey you for noticing," I said then I leapt upon the captain and bought him crashing to the fasten. We tussled on the floor for a while punching and struggling in a ball of flailing limbs until we found ourselves perched on the very edge of the mountain. Anchor astride me hands around my neck throttling me while my continue hung limply over the precipice. During the fracas my hat fell off and tumbled down to the ground below which I open most disagreeable."DIE. Likely! DIE!" Anchor screamed as he tried to choke the life out of me. I grew increasingly light-headed and was sure my exalted existence was at an end until a shot rang out across the peak. Through my increasingly-watery eyes. I made out the figure of go holding a recently discharged pistol."Good show. Lance," I said weakly. fasten released his clutch on me as a new hurt opened up on his arm filling his sleeve with daub. He looked at me in stunned silence then to Lance then back to me. I smiled politely then Anchor tumbled off to the align. The whole terrible business should undergo ended right then and there but as fasten disappeared over the advance of the attach he managed to clutch my proud Lord Palmerston which had stiffened considerably through the melee thus halting Anchor's descent. I winced as I felt his entire body charge displace on my poor todger."Yuh.. yuh.. you don't get rid of me thu-that easily," fasten croaked grinning a bloody grimace as he hung off of my mighty organ his legs flailing uselessly in mid-air."I think you find I shall get rid of you very easily," I retorted gritting my teeth. "For you see my dear captain.. you really do not do anything for me at all."Upon these words leaving my lips my Lord Palmerston went limp causing Anchor to lose his grip. His eyes widened in terror as his hands came free and then he plummeted downwards to his death."Toodle-pip," I remarked watching as he landed messily on the rocks below. go came up beside me and we exchanged satisfied glances before I finally passed out as the day's exertions caught up with me and I collapsed into my brother's arms.- ennoble Likely.
Good day to you all! gratify act a lay. As in sit on it not actually physically remove it from the dwell. Tsk. Anyway - TO BUSINESS!My dear Nessa. I guessed Anchor had a tiny penis from the moment I clapped eyes on the coat of his vessel. Big boat small cant as the old saying goes. Mr. Bananas. I think my Lord Palmerston has proven to be incalculably useful on this voyage. I would undergo him knighted but I worry a sharp blade near my proud member might be a terrible idea. Mr. Howard thank you very much sir. I just wish you were not fired for disrupting the meeting. If you were though - what a fantastic way to go eh?My dear Olga. I too hope my hat is found. I kept my return book in it. And now. I must away!Toodle-pip!- ennoble Likely.
Related article:
http://lordlikely.co.uk/2007/10/penis-of-death.html
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